I've been thinking alot about what the Bible says about submission of a woman to her husband. It doesn't really fit our modern world does it? We fear that if we submit to our husbands we will somehow "lose" ourselves. That he will dominate us and somehow hurt us. But is this really the case? I fought submission for most of my 38 years. That is until about a year ago. I was always afraid that if I did submit to my husband that he would not love me the way I wanted to be loved. That I had to demand love and respect. That I had to be "fulfilled". I hated the Proverbs 31 woman. She overwhelmed me and just reading about her made me tired.
But a year ago something happened that radically altered my philosophy of life. I had to make changes or lose my husband forever. So I fell on my face before God and asked Him to change me. Now I see that submission to my husband is a good thing. It takes a lot of strain off of both of us, and the Lord has blessed me for it.
The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 11:7b-10
the woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head.
John MacArthur points out that in this verse that even the angels are watching for a woman to be subject to her husband.
Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. 1 Corinthians 11:3.
The Bible lays out a command structure here. We, as married women are to submit to our husbands. I know this is an unpopular idea. We think that somehow we are going to lose ourselves by submission, but I have found that through submission I have gained so much more than I have lost. I have also seen that when I try to "overrule" my husband it causes stife in my home and we get stuck. If 2 people are trying to steer a ship and they want to go in 2 different directions where to they end up going? Nowhere.
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Proverbs 14:1
Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife. Proverbs 21:19
Proverbs repeats this next verse 2 times.
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 21:9
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 25:24
If God repeated the same verse 2 times I think we better listen. If you insist on your own way and put up a fight and refuse to submit then you are being Quarrelsome?. . . I think the answer to that is yes.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30
If we fear him then we should do what He says.
Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband (Ephesians 5:33).
...submitting to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is Head of the Church; and He is the Saviour of the Body. Therefore, just as the Church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for it.... So husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.(Ephesians 5:21-25,28).
Yes, your husband is supposed to love you as Christ loved the church, but you are not responsible for his actions, only your own. I used to say "Well when he loves me like Christ loved the church then I'll submit." But perhaps he was waiting for me to submit to love me as Christ loved the church. Look at the next scripture.
"Likewise you wives, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the Word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your beauty be that outward adorning of arranging the hair, of wearing gold, or of putting on fine apparel; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God" (1 Peter 3:1-4).
Won without a word. Simply by your submission.
When the divine order of submission is followed, relationships improve and are set right. Rebellion ceases and harmony follows.
This may not make sense to us in our human understanding but remember: But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 1 Corinthians 1:27
Submit first to God, then to your husband. Through submission to your husband you are bringing glory to God.
Tell me this, what good does glory and honor do me in this world? What good does it do for me to make a name for myself here? This place isn't my "True Home". My treasure isn't here. My treasure is in heaven. I don't know about you but I wanna lay up treasure there where it's gonna do me a lot more good than here.
Don't get me wrong I blow it more times than I get it right. However with the Lord's help I wanna get it right.
Just remember, neither you nor I can be a Proverbs 31 woman without the help of God. I am totally helpless to become the woman God wants me to be without surrendering totally to Him and allowing Him to make me what He wants me.
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