The Love Dare

Day 31 -

Ok, so I know I'm starting to blog about this experience pretty late in the game. However, overall it has been a good experience. Just the fact that the CableMan has agreed to do this with me is a HUGE leap in our relationship. Today we are to be sure that our marriage is given top priority over every other human relationship. I guess that includes my relationship with self doesn't it. I've been really into myself lately and I have to get over it.

It would be so easy. . .

It would be so easy to just quit. . .

• quit homeschooling because this is hard.
• quit cleaning the house because I never seem to get anywhere.
• quit trying to teach my children right from wrong and just give them whatever they wanted.
• quit submitting to my husband and stand up for myself.
• quit trusting anyone.
• quit loving my neighbor.
• quit pushing through the physical pain and just lay down to sleep.
• quit, quit, quit, quit.

It would be so easy to just crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head.

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:14

I will press on, and trust in My Abba, who I know has my back.

Show and Tell Friday

Welcome to Show and Tell Friday!" Do you have a something special to share with us? It could be a trinket from grade school, a piece of jewelry, an antique find. Your show and tell can be old or new. Use your imagination and dig through those old boxes in your closet if you have to! Feel free to share pictures and if there's a story behind your special something, that's even better!

Head on over to Kelli's place and join the fun! http://kellishouse.blogspot.com/
Yesterday the old Taurus finally broke the camel's back so to speak. Every 6 months for the past 3 of the 6 years we have owned it we have had to do MAJOR repairs, so when my husband called me yesterday and told me that it would require another very costly repair which wouldn't even fix all that was wrong with it I was at the end of my rope. I asked him what he wanted to do. He said trade it in. Now I was dubious to say the least. I did not want a new car payment and I doubted very much that we would qualify for anything but an extremely high interest rate. But I bit my tongue and swallowed my pride and did the submission thing. (Why not follow my own advice right?) Well, the Lord blessed me for doing it. We got a very low APR 2.9% and after A-Plan (my dad works for Ford), trade and rebates we got close to $9,500 off the trucks price. The payments are still going to tax an already over-taxed budget, but they are manageable. Now we have a new Ford F-150 XLT SuperCrew cab (we can all fit in the truck and we couldn't all fit in the Taurus). While the above is not an actual picture of it (it was very late when we got home and my husband drove it to work so I didn't have time to take a picture), it is the best I could do from the web. The truck is 2-toned Forest Green and Tan. My husband is happy, no more costly repairs, at least on the Taurus, and I did the submission thing which throughly please my husband.

I am overwhelmed!!!

We had a financial emergency this afternoon. A large check that was supposed to be here didn't come and they said that it would be next week before it was processed. This threw us into an unimaginable tail spin. I put out an email requesting prayer. Within in one hour our short term needs were met. The God we serve is AWESOME. Don't get me wrong. Even if He hadn't provided for my short term needs, He is still AWESOME!! I can't imagine life without the Lover of my Soul.

Count it ALL Joy.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

James 1:2-7 NIV

Last night at Bible Study so many of my friends had so many burdens. My heart was very heavy for them. I spent a fitful night of concern for them. Perhaps it is because I have been there, in great pain and need. I know the feeling of struggle. I also know that I would not trade my struggles for all the money in the world. They have made me who I am, what I am. The season of pain and heartache may seem long, but oh, it is so beautiful on the other side. To have a heart that has been refined by the fire, to NEVER be the same again. No, I would not trade that for anything.

Don't misunderstand me. I am sinful and my heart is not pure or perfect, but it is softer than when my journey began. My faith is stronger than it used to be.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. "Make level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

Hebrews 12:1-12 NIV

No, trials are not easy. They are not meant to be. My giants haven't always been laundry and dishes. There used to be a saying in strength training, "No pain, no gain." Well without pain our souls cannot gain either. It is not for "no reason" Jesus is called the perfecter of our faith.

I have learned this though, the sooner you recognize the trial and the sooner you put yourself on your face before God, the sooner He comes along side of you and helps you in the trial. Notice I did not say the sooner He removes the trial, which sometimes He does, I said the sooner He helps you in the trial.

Who would you rather have helping you? God? Or yourself?

I do NOT have all the answers, but I serve a God who does.

Hebrews 12:11 says, No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

It produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. This is so true.

Kim and the Giants.

Well the Lord and I knocked down a couple of those little giants today. I wouldn't have been able to do it except for Him. So many times I wanted to sit down and "rest". But I remembered something I read here. http://www.cmomb.com/the-sin-of-sloth/.

James 4:17 - Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.

I know the good I ought to do. And if I don't do it simply out of laziness or being overwhelmed then I am sinning.

I was also inspired by Claudia O. at http://teenytinycabin.blogspot.com/who commented on my blog entry. Thank you so much for your encouragement.

So with the Lord's help I knocked out all the laundry, and cleaned my own bedroom (I am forever griping at the kids to keep theirs clean, time to practice what I preach.) and I cleaned the bathroom. And He motivated me to fix dinner for tonight, since I'm going to fellowship night with some ladies from ABF class.

Maybe just maybe I can get the Living Room done before I leave.

Blessing to all of you from the One who gives us strength.

Off to slay more little giants.

Constantly Amazed

I am constantly amazed at God's good grace. Thank you Lord!! My husband and I are enjoying a renewal of our love and have entered a new period of getting to know one another again. I am so grateful for this and I would shout it from the highest points of the earth if I could but I am a pretty simple girl and I don't travel much so I will shout it from my blog.

Thank you Lord for the Cableman!!!

Just 5 Things I have learned.

First, God is Holy. I don't mean holy by our standards, I mean He is exalted or worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness. He is by His nature the very definition of a Holy God.

Second, there is no vacancy in the Trinity. Try as I might I cannot control others. I am not God.

Third, prayer isn't just about my wants and needs. Prayer is first about coming before a Holy God and worshiping him, second submitting my will to His, and admitting that I cannot do anything without Him and then asking for help with what burdens my heart.

Fourth, no person can fill all my needs, wants or desires. Only God can fill that "God-shaped hole" which Pascal once referred to. To place that burden on my husband or children is an abomination. I know that abomination is a strong word but I can think of no other word to describe how horrible and destructive this burden can be to those we love.

Fifth, sex was created by God. It is not dirty. It is not shameful. It is not displeasing to God, the God who created it, as long as it is practiced within the limits He set for us. Try this and see if it doesn't radically change your sex life with your spouse. Get down on your knees beside your marriage bed and pray. Pray "God let all that happens in this bed bring glory to you." If you will take a servant's heart into your sex life, you will honor marriage. Give your spouse more honor than you want and it will radically change not just your sex life but your entire relationship.

Trying something new.

Isn't it funny how difficult it is to try something new and out of the ordinary? Seriously, I've decided to become what I consider to be a dedicated housewife, and the women in my life are giving me so much grief it isn't funny. My mother says "I just can't imagine." So what if I have dreams of being June Cleaver in my clever housedresses and string of pearls (beads actually but these days who knows the difference). This doesn't make my strange or odd. What I should just shlemp around the house in ratty old sweats and dirty t-shirts? Why not put on something that makes me feel pretty and cover it up with an attractive apron? So what if I don't fit the mold of what women look like today? If you ask me women today don't know what they want to be, they don't want to be women. They don't want to be men. They are caught in a state of limbo and that is exactly where the world wants them. Maybe, (and I really don't mean maybe I mean certainly) God's plan for women is a better way. I want to be distinctly feminine. I want my children to go through life knowing that their mother was a woman to the core. I want to teach them God's values and not the world's values. I know that they will not have an easy life if they try to live out the values taught in the Bible, but it will be worth every minute of it.

Submission

I've been thinking alot about what the Bible says about submission of a woman to her husband. It doesn't really fit our modern world does it? We fear that if we submit to our husbands we will somehow "lose" ourselves. That he will dominate us and somehow hurt us. But is this really the case? I fought submission for most of my 38 years. That is until about a year ago. I was always afraid that if I did submit to my husband that he would not love me the way I wanted to be loved. That I had to demand love and respect. That I had to be "fulfilled". I hated the Proverbs 31 woman. She overwhelmed me and just reading about her made me tired.

But a year ago something happened that radically altered my philosophy of life. I had to make changes or lose my husband forever. So I fell on my face before God and asked Him to change me. Now I see that submission to my husband is a good thing. It takes a lot of strain off of both of us, and the Lord has blessed me for it.

The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 11:7b-10
the woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head.

John MacArthur points out that in this verse that even the angels are watching for a woman to be subject to her husband.

Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. 1 Corinthians 11:3.

The Bible lays out a command structure here. We, as married women are to submit to our husbands. I know this is an unpopular idea. We think that somehow we are going to lose ourselves by submission, but I have found that through submission I have gained so much more than I have lost. I have also seen that when I try to "overrule" my husband it causes stife in my home and we get stuck. If 2 people are trying to steer a ship and they want to go in 2 different directions where to they end up going? Nowhere.

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Proverbs 14:1

Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife. Proverbs 21:19

Proverbs repeats this next verse 2 times.

Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 21:9
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 25:24

If God repeated the same verse 2 times I think we better listen. If you insist on your own way and put up a fight and refuse to submit then you are being Quarrelsome?. . . I think the answer to that is yes.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30

If we fear him then we should do what He says.

Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband (Ephesians 5:33).

...submitting to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is Head of the Church; and He is the Saviour of the Body. Therefore, just as the Church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for it.... So husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.(Ephesians 5:21-25,28).

Yes, your husband is supposed to love you as Christ loved the church, but you are not responsible for his actions, only your own. I used to say "Well when he loves me like Christ loved the church then I'll submit." But perhaps he was waiting for me to submit to love me as Christ loved the church. Look at the next scripture.

"Likewise you wives, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the Word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your beauty be that outward adorning of arranging the hair, of wearing gold, or of putting on fine apparel; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God" (1 Peter 3:1-4).

Won without a word. Simply by your submission.

When the divine order of submission is followed, relationships improve and are set right. Rebellion ceases and harmony follows.

This may not make sense to us in our human understanding but remember: But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 1 Corinthians 1:27

Submit first to God, then to your husband. Through submission to your husband you are bringing glory to God.

Tell me this, what good does glory and honor do me in this world? What good does it do for me to make a name for myself here? This place isn't my "True Home". My treasure isn't here. My treasure is in heaven. I don't know about you but I wanna lay up treasure there where it's gonna do me a lot more good than here.

Don't get me wrong I blow it more times than I get it right. However with the Lord's help I wanna get it right.

Just remember, neither you nor I can be a Proverbs 31 woman without the help of God. I am totally helpless to become the woman God wants me to be without surrendering totally to Him and allowing Him to make me what He wants me.

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